If you simply can't get enough of the Winter Games or maybe are looking forward to having some films to help you get through post-Olympic withdrawal, here's a suggestion that will keep you busy--possibly for the next four years.
Skiing
1. Ski School (1991)
2. Ski School 2 (1994)
3. Hot Dog...The Movie (1984)
4. Winter Break (2003)
5. Ski Trippin' (2005)
6. Ski Patrol (1990)
7. Downhill Racer (1969)
8. Sun Valley Serenade (1941)
Snowboarding
1. Frostbite (2005)
2. Out Cold (2001)
Figure Skating
1. The Cutting Edge (1992)
2. The Cutting Edge: Going for the Gold (2006)
3. The Cutting Edge 3: Chasing the Dream (2008)
4. Blades of Glory (2007)
5. Ice Castles (1978)
6. Ice Princess (2005)
7. Wintertime (1943)
Hockey
1. Slap Shot (1977)
2. Slap Shot 2: Breaking the Ice (2002)
3. Slap Shot 3: The Junior League (2008)
4. The Mighty Ducks (1992)
5. D2: The Mighty Ducks (1994)
6: D3: The Mighty Ducks (1996)
7. Mystery, Alaska (1999)
Bobsled
1. Cool Runnings (1993)
Curling
1. Men with Brooms (2002)
Friday, February 19, 2010
Friday, October 16, 2009
Hearstfest
Hearstfest is an idea for a festival of films that are interrelated because of the confluence of their historical subject matter and also because they're great films. You might think of this series as being "Six Degrees of William Randolph Hearst."
1. Chaplin (1992) Now that Robert Downey, Jr. is once again an actor and not a punchline, it's time to take a new look at this Richard Attenborough film where he stars in the title role. The supporting cast is great and even on its own this would be a choice pick. Jack Ritschel plays William Randolph Hearst and Heather McNair plays his longtime mistress Marion Davies.
2. The Cat's Meow (2001) Directed by Peter Bogdanovich, this film features Eddie Izzard as Chaplin and Kirsten Dunst as Marion Davies, with Edward Herrmann as William Randolph Hearst circa 1924. Hollywood scandal galore plus another great supporting cast that includes Cary Elwes.
3. Cradle Will Rock (1999) John Cusack plays Nelson Rockefeller in this all-star film from Tim Robbins about Orson Welles, Marc Blitzstein and the Federal Theatre Project. With Cary Elwes as John Houseman and Gretchen Mol appears briefly as Marion Davies along with John Carpenter as Hearst.
4. RKO 281 (1999) Liev Shreiber plays Orson Welles and James Cromwell is William Randolph Hearst in this film about the making of Citizen Kane. The cast includes Roy Scheider, John Malkovich and Melanie Griffith (as Marion Davies).
5. Citizen Kane (1941) Orson Welles directs and stars in this classic based in part on the life of William Randolph Hearst.
So there you have it, five excellent films with five Hearsts.
1. Chaplin (1992) Now that Robert Downey, Jr. is once again an actor and not a punchline, it's time to take a new look at this Richard Attenborough film where he stars in the title role. The supporting cast is great and even on its own this would be a choice pick. Jack Ritschel plays William Randolph Hearst and Heather McNair plays his longtime mistress Marion Davies.
2. The Cat's Meow (2001) Directed by Peter Bogdanovich, this film features Eddie Izzard as Chaplin and Kirsten Dunst as Marion Davies, with Edward Herrmann as William Randolph Hearst circa 1924. Hollywood scandal galore plus another great supporting cast that includes Cary Elwes.
3. Cradle Will Rock (1999) John Cusack plays Nelson Rockefeller in this all-star film from Tim Robbins about Orson Welles, Marc Blitzstein and the Federal Theatre Project. With Cary Elwes as John Houseman and Gretchen Mol appears briefly as Marion Davies along with John Carpenter as Hearst.
4. RKO 281 (1999) Liev Shreiber plays Orson Welles and James Cromwell is William Randolph Hearst in this film about the making of Citizen Kane. The cast includes Roy Scheider, John Malkovich and Melanie Griffith (as Marion Davies).
5. Citizen Kane (1941) Orson Welles directs and stars in this classic based in part on the life of William Randolph Hearst.
So there you have it, five excellent films with five Hearsts.
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
Seasons Screenings
I'm jumping the queue a bit, but as we approach the Holidays I thought I'd share my new improved annual Christmas Movie Cycle.
1. The Ref (Warm up some nog and enjoy this foul-mouthed Christmas classic. I can't say enough about how happy this movie makes me. There's no Christmas like a New England Christmas. And it's great to see a drunk Santa get punched.)
2. Gremlins (A little unusual, but you can't have Christmas without mayhem.)
3. 1941 (More mayhem, more Christmas, and a good lesson about wartime paranoia that never gets old.)
4. Holiday Inn (Okay, the bits in blackface are highly inappropriate, but actually the song for Lincoln's birthday is a good one, mostly. Fred Astaire as a rake who can really do some hoofing.)
5. White Christmas (It may seem a bit redundant, but if you're going to watch one backstage Bing Crosby Christmas movie, you might as well watch both of them.)
6. It's a Wonderful Life (I know what you're all thinking and you can just back off and let me have this one for my own reasons that have less to do about Christmas and more to do with me and the old Bailey Building and Loan.)
7. Joyeux Noel (In case you need to be hit over the head with a message about peace on earth and good will to man.)
8. A Christmas Carol (Okay, I'm a sucker for Scrooge and Marley--any version, but if you have to pick one that will really clean out your tear ducts go with the George C. Scott version.)
9. Emmet Otter's Jug Band Christmas (Woodland creatures...a jug band...It's a Christmas miracle.)
10. Hogfather (This is the latest addition to my holiday line-up. Really delightful fantasy fun.)
11. Happy Tree Friends Winter Break (Not for the faint of heart. Actually, my favorite part are the mumbled Christmas carols on the special features.)
12. The Homecoming (This is the 2nd movie based on the novel that was the basis for The Waltons. Stories of rural life in the depression always put me into that Christmas mood.)
13. Bad Santa (I generally don't go out of my way to see any of the newer movies that are obvious pleas for Christmas viewing, but I've made an exception for this one.)
14. Holiday (I like to throw in this one just to have another vaguely seasonal comedy.)
15. The Hudsucker Proxy (The best New Year's Eve movie ever.)
1. The Ref (Warm up some nog and enjoy this foul-mouthed Christmas classic. I can't say enough about how happy this movie makes me. There's no Christmas like a New England Christmas. And it's great to see a drunk Santa get punched.)
2. Gremlins (A little unusual, but you can't have Christmas without mayhem.)
3. 1941 (More mayhem, more Christmas, and a good lesson about wartime paranoia that never gets old.)
4. Holiday Inn (Okay, the bits in blackface are highly inappropriate, but actually the song for Lincoln's birthday is a good one, mostly. Fred Astaire as a rake who can really do some hoofing.)
5. White Christmas (It may seem a bit redundant, but if you're going to watch one backstage Bing Crosby Christmas movie, you might as well watch both of them.)
6. It's a Wonderful Life (I know what you're all thinking and you can just back off and let me have this one for my own reasons that have less to do about Christmas and more to do with me and the old Bailey Building and Loan.)
7. Joyeux Noel (In case you need to be hit over the head with a message about peace on earth and good will to man.)
8. A Christmas Carol (Okay, I'm a sucker for Scrooge and Marley--any version, but if you have to pick one that will really clean out your tear ducts go with the George C. Scott version.)
9. Emmet Otter's Jug Band Christmas (Woodland creatures...a jug band...It's a Christmas miracle.)
10. Hogfather (This is the latest addition to my holiday line-up. Really delightful fantasy fun.)
11. Happy Tree Friends Winter Break (Not for the faint of heart. Actually, my favorite part are the mumbled Christmas carols on the special features.)
12. The Homecoming (This is the 2nd movie based on the novel that was the basis for The Waltons. Stories of rural life in the depression always put me into that Christmas mood.)
13. Bad Santa (I generally don't go out of my way to see any of the newer movies that are obvious pleas for Christmas viewing, but I've made an exception for this one.)
14. Holiday (I like to throw in this one just to have another vaguely seasonal comedy.)
15. The Hudsucker Proxy (The best New Year's Eve movie ever.)
Tuesday, November 18, 2008
Westfest 2008-2009
I've been thinking about westerns a lot these days, and what would be on my list of essential westerns, and which ones would make the cut (but only for serious students of the genre) and which ones are awful but worth seeing and so on.
And, of course, I've been thinking about subcategories and which of them people simply shouldn't miss out on.
So, I'm inviting y'all to contribute to this discussion by compiling your own lists of great westerns so we can discuss them.
To begin, I'm going to outline some of the subcategories I've identified (in no particular order):
1. Spaghetti Westerns (This has become the most identifiable subgenre in the Western and rightly so as several great films fall under this one.)
2. Jesse James (This includes movies about the James Gang and the Dalton Gang.)
3. The Earps (Even before the great contest between Tombstone and Wyatt Earp there were some truly star-studded versions of the OK Corral.)
4. Billy the Kid (Let's face it, Young Guns pretty much ran this one into the ground for a generation.)
5. John Wayne (You haven't seen a western until you've seen a John Wayne western. Not because they're always good, and not because other Westerns aren't better, but because it's like having a drink of refreshing Coca-Cola. You can't talk about what Diet Coke is or why you like RC better until you've had a Coke.)
6. The Cavalry (Some of these films could be classified as Plains Indian War Movies, and there's a whole subcategory of Custer movies, but there's nothing like a good John Ford cavalry film. Which brings us to...)
7. John Ford (The great director of Westerns)
8. Howard Hawks (the other great director)
9. Sam Peckinpah (the other other great director)
10. Gunfighters & Lawmen (Shane, High Noon, Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid, Judge Roy Bean...)
11. Mexican Revolution (You could divide this category further into movies about the Juarez era and the Villa and Zapata era).
12. Civil War (Speaking of historical fare, most real Civil War films are better classified as "Southerns" and the Civil War features in many a good western as a backdrop of some form--even Bonanza was set during the Civil War--but occasionally you get something that really qualifies as a Civil War Western...there's even one that could be called the great SouthWestern Film.)
13. Indians (Films that help you separate your tatankas from your yotankas.)
14. Comedies (There are many good ones.)
15. Musicals (I can think of two and I don't want to see them.)
16. Wild Bill Hickock (Really, this is just a category designed to include watching 3 seasons of Deadwood which you couldn't do without.)
17. Ranchers & Cowhands (Speaking of TV, this category is really designed to cover those classic shows about big families with big ranches and big trouble or a certain show about a cattle drive.)
18. The Alamo (Because you can't have Westerns without Texas.)
19. Zorro (I'm expanding the boundaries here)
20. Moderns (Cars and helicopters in place of horses, but they're still westerns, even with a gun and a cattle prod.)
21. Pioneers on the Frontier (These are usually just straight-up dramas set in the West.)
22. Gold Rush, Gamblers, the Yukon (Sort of a grab-bag category)
Anyhow, I expect a free-for all once we start talking about what we think are the essential few that we'd want to keep in a vault and preserve.
And, of course, I've been thinking about subcategories and which of them people simply shouldn't miss out on.
So, I'm inviting y'all to contribute to this discussion by compiling your own lists of great westerns so we can discuss them.
To begin, I'm going to outline some of the subcategories I've identified (in no particular order):
1. Spaghetti Westerns (This has become the most identifiable subgenre in the Western and rightly so as several great films fall under this one.)
2. Jesse James (This includes movies about the James Gang and the Dalton Gang.)
3. The Earps (Even before the great contest between Tombstone and Wyatt Earp there were some truly star-studded versions of the OK Corral.)
4. Billy the Kid (Let's face it, Young Guns pretty much ran this one into the ground for a generation.)
5. John Wayne (You haven't seen a western until you've seen a John Wayne western. Not because they're always good, and not because other Westerns aren't better, but because it's like having a drink of refreshing Coca-Cola. You can't talk about what Diet Coke is or why you like RC better until you've had a Coke.)
6. The Cavalry (Some of these films could be classified as Plains Indian War Movies, and there's a whole subcategory of Custer movies, but there's nothing like a good John Ford cavalry film. Which brings us to...)
7. John Ford (The great director of Westerns)
8. Howard Hawks (the other great director)
9. Sam Peckinpah (the other other great director)
10. Gunfighters & Lawmen (Shane, High Noon, Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid, Judge Roy Bean...)
11. Mexican Revolution (You could divide this category further into movies about the Juarez era and the Villa and Zapata era).
12. Civil War (Speaking of historical fare, most real Civil War films are better classified as "Southerns" and the Civil War features in many a good western as a backdrop of some form--even Bonanza was set during the Civil War--but occasionally you get something that really qualifies as a Civil War Western...there's even one that could be called the great SouthWestern Film.)
13. Indians (Films that help you separate your tatankas from your yotankas.)
14. Comedies (There are many good ones.)
15. Musicals (I can think of two and I don't want to see them.)
16. Wild Bill Hickock (Really, this is just a category designed to include watching 3 seasons of Deadwood which you couldn't do without.)
17. Ranchers & Cowhands (Speaking of TV, this category is really designed to cover those classic shows about big families with big ranches and big trouble or a certain show about a cattle drive.)
18. The Alamo (Because you can't have Westerns without Texas.)
19. Zorro (I'm expanding the boundaries here)
20. Moderns (Cars and helicopters in place of horses, but they're still westerns, even with a gun and a cattle prod.)
21. Pioneers on the Frontier (These are usually just straight-up dramas set in the West.)
22. Gold Rush, Gamblers, the Yukon (Sort of a grab-bag category)
Anyhow, I expect a free-for all once we start talking about what we think are the essential few that we'd want to keep in a vault and preserve.
Friday, August 22, 2008
Plucky Upstarts
Here's a pairing of plucky upstart films: Be Kind Rewind (2008, dir. Michel Gondry) and Little Miss Sunshine (2006, dir. Jonathan Dayton & Valerie Faris).
It's hard to go wrong with either of these films, but together they can definitely turn a bad mood into a defiant and resilient mood. Be Kind Rewind is about the joy of film and the happiness you can get from taking back the creative process and forming your own community. Little Miss Sunshine is about the joy of performance and the bonds of a smaller (familial) community.
Ultimately, they're both films that valorize the underdog without resorting to fantasies of victory. The underdog doesn't change the world in these films, and they don't gain the approval of the powers that be--but (and this is the brilliant part of it) they show that it doesn't matter what the rest say. You can change the rules of the game and even opt out of the game and define your own victory. Consider these two films a pair of lessons in how to change the paramaters of the Kobayashi Maru of life.
I would suggest watching Be Kind Rewind with some BBQ Chicken and Ribs on a bed of dirty rice and a side of cole slaw, baked beans and potato salad and then saving the apple pie (a la mode-y, if you like)for Little Miss Sunshine.
It's hard to go wrong with either of these films, but together they can definitely turn a bad mood into a defiant and resilient mood. Be Kind Rewind is about the joy of film and the happiness you can get from taking back the creative process and forming your own community. Little Miss Sunshine is about the joy of performance and the bonds of a smaller (familial) community.
Ultimately, they're both films that valorize the underdog without resorting to fantasies of victory. The underdog doesn't change the world in these films, and they don't gain the approval of the powers that be--but (and this is the brilliant part of it) they show that it doesn't matter what the rest say. You can change the rules of the game and even opt out of the game and define your own victory. Consider these two films a pair of lessons in how to change the paramaters of the Kobayashi Maru of life.
I would suggest watching Be Kind Rewind with some BBQ Chicken and Ribs on a bed of dirty rice and a side of cole slaw, baked beans and potato salad and then saving the apple pie (a la mode-y, if you like)for Little Miss Sunshine.
Monday, May 12, 2008
When we talk about our great contemporary filmmakers, it's really amazing how many names come up and what a great time it is for cinema. While the John Fords, Charlie Chaplin and Alfred Hitchcocks are gone, we have Eastwood, Mendes, and Almodovar.
We do not, however, talk enough about the shitty ones. The filmmakers who unfortunately ended up making an impact. The shitty filmmakers who somehow have infiltrated pop culture and are embedded in our minds. My pairing for you is a case study on shitty movies that have impacted pop society. I present two movies for my case: Sixteen Candles and Pretty in Pink. My case: John Hughes sucks.
First off, I know, John Hughes didn't direct Pretty in Pink. He penned it and his finger prints are all over it: teen angst; Molly Ringwald, his muse; rich boy and dumpy girl. Second, I know you all think there are other criminals who deserve the attack more than Hughes. George Lucas, I'm looking right at you. Your time will come. In my opinion, Lucas and John Hughes are riding in the same bus to hell.
The real themes of John Hughes movies are deeper and more lurid than you think. Stalking, Parental Incompetence, and Economic Ambivalence.
Let's start off with a helping of Sixteen Candles.
Sixteen Candles is the story of a girl whose entire family forgets her sixteenth birthday because her older sister's presumed shotgun nuptials are occupying everyone's mind. Ah, the tough life of WASP America. I'm guessing this movie didn't get much run time in Sarajevo. In the end, the sister gets married, they remember the birthday, she gets the guy, and life is perfect. I call shenanigans, and here are the key issues I ask that you watch for:
Next, let's move on to the second spot on the pairing: Pretty in Pink.
Holy Jesus, I hate this movie. This movie has the same themes:
Blane is a rich kid in a public school, who is completely vapid. But for the good graces of his friend, Stef, he would have been eaten alive years ago. So this blue blooded twerp falls for one of the snotty little artsy girls in school, Andie. He decides he might like her, and so he wows her with his impressive, yet stalkerish computer skills, and they go out on a date, which he is late for. Very impressive, Blane. The date does not go well, and for the life of me, this fucker can't put two and two fucking together. Hey, my friends who all hate you are having a party, let's go! Hey, this guy is always rude to me, but he's always hanging around you, what's his deal? Hey, why can't I see your house? After Blane takes her out on some shitty dates, we are lead to assume that he probably sneaks to third base.
His good friend, and the only reason people give him the time of day, Stef, tries to talk sense into him throughout the entire movie. Why is this girl so special? What's the big deal? Why are you killing yourself over this chick? She is nada. He never debates this with his friend, just grins, and the moment they hook up, Blane blows her off and feels bad. Then all movie long, we deal with his moral hangover. How bad does he feel? He tells her I love you, after like what, four minutes of total dialogue in the movie together? Some dumb bastards have seen this movie and probably told a girl I love you on the third date because of that fucking scene. Girls see this and think, "awmahgawd that's so awesome", but if a real guy dropped an L bomb like that, it would scare the shit out of her.
For the girl, we once again have Molly Ringwald, again. This time she's the poor girl, with the unemployed dad, abandoned by her mom, wrong side of the tracks, best friends with a guy who probably steals her perfume bottles so that he can spray the inside of a plastic bag to put over his head while he beats off, and is in love with a douche bag.
That's right, Duckie. The poor bastard thinks he has a chance up to the LAST FUCKING FRAME OF THE MOVIE. Don't get me wrong, I've dealt with Duckies my entire life. Guy friends who I couldn't shake, who talked me down to their lust objects, confessed their undying love every other minute, and so on and so forth. Do women really keep their stalkers this enamoured, or shouldn't there have been a point already where Duckie has already become a methhead cutter and tried to collect her hair for the Andie doll he has back at home? Maybe it's just me, but infatuation can't last that long and stay healthy.
Alas, Andie figures, it's okay to take Duckie for granted, but heaven forbid she be taken for granted. She's so unique. She's an artist. Well, she's certainly not a fucking dress maker. How does destroying two perfectly good dresses and making one God awful dress equal talent? Just look at that dress. Hit pause and look at it. Seriously, it's fucking terrible. All movie long, all we hear about is this dream to be a designer, and this is what we get?!
So basically, we have two movies that try to deal with teen angst, but instead of helping alleviate this tense period in anyone's life, it picks open the wounds and digs a finger into them. Pop culture has made a place for these movies with a type of Stockholm Syndrome that I fail to understand.
We do not, however, talk enough about the shitty ones. The filmmakers who unfortunately ended up making an impact. The shitty filmmakers who somehow have infiltrated pop culture and are embedded in our minds. My pairing for you is a case study on shitty movies that have impacted pop society. I present two movies for my case: Sixteen Candles and Pretty in Pink. My case: John Hughes sucks.
First off, I know, John Hughes didn't direct Pretty in Pink. He penned it and his finger prints are all over it: teen angst; Molly Ringwald, his muse; rich boy and dumpy girl. Second, I know you all think there are other criminals who deserve the attack more than Hughes. George Lucas, I'm looking right at you. Your time will come. In my opinion, Lucas and John Hughes are riding in the same bus to hell.
The real themes of John Hughes movies are deeper and more lurid than you think. Stalking, Parental Incompetence, and Economic Ambivalence.
Let's start off with a helping of Sixteen Candles.
Sixteen Candles is the story of a girl whose entire family forgets her sixteenth birthday because her older sister's presumed shotgun nuptials are occupying everyone's mind. Ah, the tough life of WASP America. I'm guessing this movie didn't get much run time in Sarajevo. In the end, the sister gets married, they remember the birthday, she gets the guy, and life is perfect. I call shenanigans, and here are the key issues I ask that you watch for:
- Stalking is John Hughes' favorite motif. Molly plays Sam, who wishes her body would develop fast so she could attract Jake, the high school stud. When she isn't staring at Jake, she stares at Caroline. We even have a creepy scene in the shower, where Sam is gawking at a naked Caroline, wishing she had the body of a 30 year old in a gratuitous shot. Anthony Michael Hall, the nerd, is stalking Sam all over a high school dance. Jake is calling Sam at odd hours of the night, demanding to speak with her. Lovely.
- Jake Ryan, the object of Sam's lust, is a fucking date rapist. He's a complete piece of shit and probably the last person you ever want to see a girl end up with. The way he and his cronies throw money around makes you wonder what kind of shit is going down in the Midwest.
- Referring to his girlfriend: "I can get a piece of ass anytime I want. Shit, I've got Caroline in the bedroom right now, passed out cold. I could violate her ten different ways if I wanted to."
- Bartering for the panties of a girl, using his girlfriend: "You let me keep these, I'll let you take Caroline home".
- Giving out his dad's car, a Rolls Royce, part of the bartering process: " No, this is my dad's car. You said you couldn't drive a stick."
- The nerds, particularly John Cusack, are painted with such reverence and depth, I'm amazed they didn't get their own spin off. Night vision goggles at a high school dance? Making bets with floppy disks? Let me tell you, I was a member of the dork squad in high school. We weren't wishing we were the cool people, we were making fun of them.
- Long Duck Dong, a most racist caricatures at a time when the Japanese were still treated as an economic enemy as the Cold War slowed down.
- 80's Midwest Suburban America made Huxley's Brave New World look like the fucking Pulitzer judging panel.
Next, let's move on to the second spot on the pairing: Pretty in Pink.
Holy Jesus, I hate this movie. This movie has the same themes:
- Andie kind of likes Blane, who may be stalking her a bit at first, while Duckie is stalking her the whole time, while Stef, Blane's best friend, may have tried to stalk her once before.
- Duckie: "God, Andie, I'd've died for you!"
- Blande: "I love you... always."
- These kids' parents are either a deadbeat dad or not fucking there
- To quote Stef, "Money really means nothing to me. Do you think I'd treat my parents' house this way if it did?"
Blane is a rich kid in a public school, who is completely vapid. But for the good graces of his friend, Stef, he would have been eaten alive years ago. So this blue blooded twerp falls for one of the snotty little artsy girls in school, Andie. He decides he might like her, and so he wows her with his impressive, yet stalkerish computer skills, and they go out on a date, which he is late for. Very impressive, Blane. The date does not go well, and for the life of me, this fucker can't put two and two fucking together. Hey, my friends who all hate you are having a party, let's go! Hey, this guy is always rude to me, but he's always hanging around you, what's his deal? Hey, why can't I see your house? After Blane takes her out on some shitty dates, we are lead to assume that he probably sneaks to third base.
His good friend, and the only reason people give him the time of day, Stef, tries to talk sense into him throughout the entire movie. Why is this girl so special? What's the big deal? Why are you killing yourself over this chick? She is nada. He never debates this with his friend, just grins, and the moment they hook up, Blane blows her off and feels bad. Then all movie long, we deal with his moral hangover. How bad does he feel? He tells her I love you, after like what, four minutes of total dialogue in the movie together? Some dumb bastards have seen this movie and probably told a girl I love you on the third date because of that fucking scene. Girls see this and think, "awmahgawd that's so awesome", but if a real guy dropped an L bomb like that, it would scare the shit out of her.
For the girl, we once again have Molly Ringwald, again. This time she's the poor girl, with the unemployed dad, abandoned by her mom, wrong side of the tracks, best friends with a guy who probably steals her perfume bottles so that he can spray the inside of a plastic bag to put over his head while he beats off, and is in love with a douche bag.
That's right, Duckie. The poor bastard thinks he has a chance up to the LAST FUCKING FRAME OF THE MOVIE. Don't get me wrong, I've dealt with Duckies my entire life. Guy friends who I couldn't shake, who talked me down to their lust objects, confessed their undying love every other minute, and so on and so forth. Do women really keep their stalkers this enamoured, or shouldn't there have been a point already where Duckie has already become a methhead cutter and tried to collect her hair for the Andie doll he has back at home? Maybe it's just me, but infatuation can't last that long and stay healthy.
Alas, Andie figures, it's okay to take Duckie for granted, but heaven forbid she be taken for granted. She's so unique. She's an artist. Well, she's certainly not a fucking dress maker. How does destroying two perfectly good dresses and making one God awful dress equal talent? Just look at that dress. Hit pause and look at it. Seriously, it's fucking terrible. All movie long, all we hear about is this dream to be a designer, and this is what we get?!
So basically, we have two movies that try to deal with teen angst, but instead of helping alleviate this tense period in anyone's life, it picks open the wounds and digs a finger into them. Pop culture has made a place for these movies with a type of Stockholm Syndrome that I fail to understand.
Saturday, May 10, 2008
The Devil and Mr. Jones
One time, my friend and I walked into this fancy chocolate store, and the girl behind the counter encouraged us to try a truffle infused with cayenne pepper. I said, “No way, but I’ll take that chocolate with the sugar-encrusted violet leaf on top.” It turns out a sugar-encrusted violet leaf does nothing to enhance the taste of chocolate—it’s a bit like eating a regular truffle with a Lucky Charms “marshmallow” on top. My friend tried the cayenne peppered chocolate, and she said it rocked. She offered me a bite, but I just couldn’t bring myself to try it. The violet leaf situation was a disappointment, sure, but a truffle infused with cayenne pepper sounded too much like someone had purposely put two laughable ingredients together to see which idiot would buy it.
I tell you this because I swear I would never do that to you—I know how it feels to be tempted by an obnoxious pairing only to back away because you’ve got a nagging feeling that someone’s yanking your chain. So, to earn your trust, I will explain why I think the pairing of The Devil Wears Prada and No Country For Old Men works.
I make it a rule never to watch movies based on thinly veiled memoirs. Never seen the movies Angela’s Ashes or The Nanny Diaries, even though I read both and enjoyed them for a fun read. The Devil Wears Prada, also a memoir-ish adaptation, had two things going for it—Meryl Streep and Stanley Tucci—but I still refused to see it because…well…it just sounded too damn girly. Held hostage one evening by boredom and lack of anything better to do, I begrudgingly watched Devil on cable, and was pleasantly surprised. The lack of plot and character depth not being one of the aforementioned surprises, the utterly mesmerizing performance by Meryl Streep is a thing to behold. So rarely do we encounter a true female alpha dog on film, and Streep takes us to school. She speaks softly, and her underlings strain to listen. She asks the impossible with a lackadaisical tone. She carves unwanted vulnerabilities out of her soul as a hardy farm wife might bludgeon and skin a hen. I’m talking about nuance—sprinkling an unpredictable element on a worn-out stereotype and making it fresh. Nuance in alpha female roles is rare, and it was surprising to find it in a movie about the inner-workings of a fashion magazine. Add the presence of the always-endearing Stanley Tucci as Streep’s number two in command, and you’ve got yourself a swell piece of movie candy.
Next, take a break with some crisp Chardonnay and Frito Pie, and then dive right into No Country For Old Men.
If you haven’t been living under a rock this past year, Javier Bardem, with his Beatles haircut and pneumatic cattle prod, turned in quite the performance as the serial killer Anton Chigurh. Most award ceremonies would have you believe this character is the story’s centerpiece, but in Cormac McCarthy’s novel the story belongs to Sheriff Tom Bell, played in the Coen Brothers’s adaptation by Tommy Lee Jones. The South Texas landscape and its ruthless gangs conjure the Biblical brutality of hell, and Sheriff Bell is getting too old for that shit. If you got a whiff of female alpha dog in Devil, open up your nostrils for a real alpha male in No Country. I’m not talking about Bardem’s Chigurh, a strange sexless dichotomy of clownish fear. I’m talking about the haggard face of Jones’s Sherriff Bell, peering from behind the newspaper long enough to talk to his second in command through a crime scene like one might talk to a toddler. It’s that same face, haunted, that lingers in the final frame—solid, weary, and frightened.
Mmmm…chew on that.
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